How To Steal The 2026 Election
Tonight Isn't About 2020
Tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern, Donald Trump will haul his mini-cabinet of election denial whackjobs, ass-kissers, and toady collaborators onto a stage and tell you that a foreign power stole the 2020 election from him.
John Ratcliffe, who never met a piece of intelligence he couldn’t launder. Bill Pulte, a man whose primary qualification for running American intelligence is that his family made money in drywall and he learned to tweet like a Bond villain who’d been dropped on his head too often as a child.
Kash Patel, who runs the FBI the way a meth-fueled raccoon runs a nightclub in a dumpster. Markwayne JimmyLee EdBob Harvey Snopes Mullin will roll his 4’ 11” fireplug of a form into the frame and glower menacingly. All will have the expression of men who just caught a whiff of a rancid Depends.
