January 6th Suckers Get Played Again

At least they have their DOGE checks...

Picture it.

You stormed the Capitol. You used bear spray on a cop, shat in the Rotunda, hunted for Mike Pence, or you just milled around in your Temu Tactical gear demanding Nancy Pelosi’s whereabouts…and you got caught.

I mean, it was rather inevitable since most of the January 6th Trumphadis either streamed their crimes, admitted them on social media, or were caught yucking it up on a million camera feeds and they tried to burn down the Republic.

And many, many of you. rightly. went to jail.

Let’s be clear: you fucking deserved it.

You were never heroes. You were criminals. Terrorists. Insurrectionists with violence and the overthrow of a free and fair election on your miserable, vicious, moronic agenda.

He pardoned all of you, even the ones who deserved a more kinetic and deadly response that day. He ended some of your long prison sentences. Many of you were wrecked financially…and you deserved it.

For many, the stain of being a January 6th terrorist meant you lost jobs, family connections…and, again, you deserved it.

All of you know you belong in jail, at some deep level.

But the last couple weeks have been good, right?

Because the word went out. There was going to be money. Real money. A $1.8 billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund,” a glittering, gold-leaf taxpayer-funded piñata, and you, patriot, were going to swing the bat and collect.