The Friday Brief

February 20, 2025

Inside: Trump’s Honeymoon. The Mad King. Betrayal. The Ex-Presidents Club. Chicken John Thune. Inflation Is Back. Kash Patel’s Secret Police Roots. The Options of John Roberts. The Final Humiliation of DeSantis. More WWIII. AI. Fusion. What I’m Reading. Scenes from the Home Front.

The Big Picture

Trump’s Sad Honeymoon Is Over

There are two species of newlywed bliss. The first is your Pinterest-ideal: Paris or Florence or Bali. You take your fresh-off-the-altar spouse someplace tasteful, cultured, and full of places with discreet service, perfect food, and ambiance for days. You stroll cobblestone streets and think, “Yes, this is the one. Forever.” It’s a highlight reel you can share with the grandkids when they ask managed to stay together for decades.

Then there’s Honeymoon #2—like the one Trump’s second term decided on. It’s the “slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am, sign here on the drive-thru Elvis Chapel line” in Las Vegas, followed by a pit-stop for vape juice, Tabasco Slim Jims, and a trunkful of White Monster. Next stop Tijuana, where your new bride tries not to hurl as you get a lap dance at a joint charmingly dubbed “El Radar.”

But the true magic of this romantic getaway is that moment you both wake up hungover in the desert, with a dismembered Mexican rodeo clown in the trunk, your wife sporting one fewer toe and a little less dentistry, and everyone’s drenched in suspicious fluids. It’s horrifying, humiliating, and you’re probably wanted in three states—yet you can’t stop replaying the parts your drug-addled brain can recall.

Somewhere in this fever dream is precisely where I imagine Trump’s political honeymoon pitched its tent. It might not be a postcard you send home to Mom, but by God, you’ll never forget it.