Trump Is Threatening to Sue Me. Again.
They never learn.
Donald Trump is threatening to sue me. Again.
Let me summarize it for you in the technical legal language this matter deserves: Fuck you, Donald.
At this point, it’s less “see you in court” and more “see you in the theater of the absurd,” because we both know how this game goes. Trump and his lawyers crank out a faux-serious letter full of bluster, distortion, and (my favorite) misquotations, and I get to publish my lawyer’s response.
Spoiler: our reply is smarter, meaner, funnier, and far more rooted in reality than anything that oozes out of whatever legal mooks Trump is deploying this time.
Their current spasm is over a video in which I described how MAGA reacts when their hero is cornered. According to Trump’s team, I said: "It distracts them from the fact that Donald Trump is a corrupt and sick pedophile."
Whoopsie. Not quite.
Only problem? That’s not what I said. What I actually said was: “They’ll use this to give the MAGA something to crow over because it distracts them from thinking about the fact that Donald Trump is a corrupt and sick pedophile.”
See the difference? It’s not subtle. Context matters. Object/subject differentation matters. But if you’re a Trump lawyer, context is like sunlight to a vampire (or Stephen Miller, but I repeat myself); deadly and to be avoided at all costs. That’s their smoking gun? Wow. I’m flattered because no one has ever called Trump a pedophile before, clearly. He decided to pick on little old me.
Notice what Trump’s lawyers don’t mention in their little hissy fit: Trump’s long, close friendship with the pedophile, rapist, and monster Jeffrey Epstein. Not once. Not a peep. No acknowledgment of the long, tangled, sticky history between Trump and his Palm Beach party pal. No explanation of why Trump promised to release the “Epstein Files” and then, quelle surprise, didn’t.
Instead, they pretend the rest of America hasn’t read the endless reporting about Trump’s behavior around young women and girls. They’d like you to forget the quotes, the lawsuits, the creepy on-air comments, the lawsuits he’s lost, and the public record that is as long as one of his stupid ties.
My attorney, Mario Nicolais, didn’t forget. The letter (links below) lays it out in cold, prosecutorial detail:
Trump and Epstein were close friends for years.
He wrote Epstein a birthday note with a sketch of a naked woman. You may have heard about it.
Trump was found liable for sexual abuse in the E. Jean Carroll case.
He joked on Howard Stern’s show about dating teenage girls and made it clear that “twelve was too young.”
He told 14-year-olds, “In a couple of years, I’ll be dating you.”
He barged into Miss Teen USA dressing rooms, saying, “Don't worry, ladies, I've seen it all before"
Epstein bragged about photos of Trump with topless young women in his lap. Michael Wolff claims to have seen these photos, including one in which Trump is surrounded by girls of “an uncertain age” sporting a “stain” on Trump’s pants.
Trump moved convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell to a cushy Club Fed and is openly teasing a pardon.
This isn’t a fever dream. This is the public record.
This is what people, including MAGA supporters, are reacting to when they talk about Trump and pedophilia. My words were about that belief. They’re whistling past a graveyard over this issue, and it’s shattered the MAGA base for months. Trump’s lawyers can whine all they want, but they can’t erase what’s already out there.
Here’s the fun part: in defamation law, truth is an absolute defense. And not just literal truth, but a reasonable interpretation of widely reported facts. You can’t just chop up someone’s words, paste them back together in a way that suits you, and then shriek “lawsuit!” That’s not how it works, even in the broken, banana republic of MAGA world.
Good luck with that, champ. Your boy Mike Flynn tried it against me and got spanked.
And if Deathbed Donnie does try to drag me into court, Florida’s anti-SLAPP laws give us the chance to hit back, and we will.
Imagine Donald being forced to explain, under oath, every last detail of his long and ugly history with Epstein, Miss Teen USA, Howard Stern, his weird incesty-seeming objectification of his daughter, and all the rest. Imagine him sitting for a deposition with actual lawyers, not sycophants. The Lincoln Project would sell tickets.
If he tries, we will depose Trump at excruciating length. We will depose Melania Trump, who we believe has relevant information not only concerning Donald Trump’s personal character, but also had knowledge and interactions with Jeffrey Epstein.
We will depose Pam Bondi, Todd Blanche, Kash Patel, Dan Bongino, and the 1,000 FBI staff who were dispatched to discover Trump’s name in the Epstein Files. None of them serves as Trump’s personal counsel, and they do not have the benefit of attorney-client privilege.
We will, of course, demand the release of the Epstein Files in this process. We will demand the details of the Epstein cover-up.
It’s not all bad, Donald.
We’re not just right, we’re also merciful. The letter offers Trump a way out. We also offered in our response a four-point peace plan:
Trump orders the full release of the Epstein Files.
Trump comes on The Lincoln Project podcast for a one-hour interview explaining why no one should believe he’s a corrupt and sick pedophile.
If we’re convinced, we’ll remove the video.
And we’ll send him a taco. Maybe even a taco bowl.
This is the part where his lawyers will sputter, “This is outrageous!” Which is precisely the point.
You don’t get to bully people into silence, Don.
Not me, not The Lincoln Project, not anyone. We’re not CBS or ABC. If you want to make this a public circus, we’ll happily juggle flaming chainsaws while you fumble like a walrus trying to fuck a greased beachball.
Here’s what this is really about: distraction. Trump is neck-deep in the Esptein scandals, in a nation that hates his policies, in a crashing economy of his making, in court cases, and geopolitical humiliations. He’s trying to strong-arm the press, intimidate critics, and keep his cult locked in the fantasy that he’s the eternal victim of a vast conspiracy.
Threatening to sue me isn’t about winning in court. It’s about putting a target on my back, hoping the press will print “Trump sues Lincoln Project” without bothering to read the fine print. It’s about feeding the MAGA ecosystem a fresh outrage meth. It’s about reminding his followers that he’s still a fighter, still lashing out, still the king of grievance.
But here’s the problem for him: The Lincoln Project doesn’t scare. I don’t scare. He threatened us before, and our reaction was the same: bring it. He tried to get the DOJ to attack us, and even Bill Barr said, “Nah, bro.”
If anything, these tantrums just hand us more material. Every legal threat, every sputtering press release, every misquoted statement, every Roger Stone tweet, every MAGA media meltdown is one more log on the fire.
Donald Trump has been threatening to sue people for fifty years. Most of the time, nothing happens. When he does sue, he usually loses. What he counts on is intimidation; the chilling effect of a threat of a billion-dollar lawsuit. Most people can’t afford to get dragged into even a frivolous lawsuit. He thinks he can bludgeon them into silence with the mere threat.
I’m not most people. In the last decade, you’d think these window-licking goons would have learned this.
So here’s my message to Donald and his ever-rotating clown car of attorneys: if you want this fight, bring it. File the lawsuit. We’ll see you in discovery, we’ll see you in depositions, and we’ll see you in court. And when the whole ugly spectacle becomes public record, don’t come crying that someone else leaked it.
Until then, save me the trouble of reading your whining letters. Declassify the Epstein Files. Take the podcast invite. Defend yourself in the daylight. And if you really want that taco, Donnie, you know where to find me.
Video coming soon.
The discovery process is a wonderful thing.
Hoo boy, I love the smell of discovery in the morning.